T.I.

"Alota pussy niggas talk like broads love runnin' they mouth
But then turn and run in they house
Put the gun in they mouth, tell a nigga talk shit now
You think you know the gun go POW"

"You betta check ya girl or you be so sick
If the choppa leave you with no dick
Or a plastic bag holdin' yo' shit
Leave 6 in you, a couple more in ya bitch"

Busta Rhymes

"Right now I'ma give you somethin' that a make a nigga beg please
When a bullet in his mind  I could feel a little breeze
Drop to ya knees, see the big barrel of the chrome
fifth triple grip handle in the squeeze"

"Bust so many shots gun powder probably blind y'all niggaz now (Ok, ok let's go)
See you don't know really wanna feel that Mossberg blow (naw)"

The first is the sequencing on Fabolous’ song “Brooklyn” featuring Jay-Z and Unlce Murder. It may not have been Jay’s decision but for some reason he raps second and Uncle Murder is last. Normally this would be no big deal but if the label is trying to promote their latest signing, putting him last on a sang with Jay-Z and Fabulous is a poor way of doing it. When the DJs do their mixes on the radio they often cut off the end of the song, and in this case it means that fewer people will hear Uncle Murder. What incentive does a DJ have to play an unknown rapper following Fabolous and Jay-Z? If I were President I would have had Unlce Murder rap second so people listen to the whole song and not the more established artists.

The second thing I’ve noticed is LL Cool J’s verse on the “Queens” featuring 50 Cent, Kool G Rap, Mobb Deep and Tony Yayo. The lines speak for themselves, “I wish Rick and Russell was back I miss the old Def Jam / Cause the new monkeys act like they don’t know who I am / The promotion and marketing wasn’t worth a damn / Now they on my balls again because 50′s my man”. Can that even be considered a subliminal. Fuck a Jay-Z – Lil’ Wayne beef, I want to see some dis tracks with LL Cool J.

I believe they became played out back in December, but now is the time to announce its demise. The style is full-blown like an epidemic. Every time I see someone wearing them I cringe as if cigarette smoke blew in my face. My hands clasp in hardened angst at the mere sight of them. I have never owned an all-over-print hoody, I never had too because everyone else did. They’re like the Griswall’s house during Christmas holiday, completely over-the-top.

The average price for one of these is around $70. Knock-offs can be purchased between $20 and $30 and offer a buyer the same self absorbed vanity. I’ve seen the hoodies for up to $300 for exclusive styles by “baller” status clothing labels.

These hoodies make me dry heave with bitterness. They’re the plague to fashion, consuming every clothing boutique and adorning every young hip-hop zealot. They’re an eye-sore among a crowd. They have the uncanny ability to draw you in like tunnel vision, then crush your senses with anxiety like falling Tetris blocks.

The best place to observe them in action is at an underground Hip-hop show. They flock like gulls and shit all over the floor. And of course they’re topped off with a New Era fitted ball cap, golden logo adorned on the bill like a merit badge. I have nothing against ball caps, but chill out on the perfectly matched hat, hoody and shoes. The same kids that own this gear probably order every El-P produced-record via the web with fierce conviction. These kids are the epitome of sold out. Their taste is over confined and rigidly stagnant. These hoodies are at the bulls-eye of the fashion target right now. Companies keep slinging them however, because they make a ton of money, but those money-making days are coming to an end. What more can be done with the design? I anticipate the day I don’t see them at fashion boutiques and throughout online stores. All-over hoodies are raging birthmarks with an inferiority complex. I hope they go out of style like Laser Discs.

Original Article

Enough about the personal stuff though, because this column is about 50. When I heard the news that he was pushing the album back until September I was pretty pissed. This has already been a pretty weak year for albums, so despite Killa’s thoughts, “Curtis” could have carried us through the summer until Kanye dropped. I wasn’t even that impressed with Mr. Jackson’s latest songs, but I knew he would have put out a dope ass album to energize the summer and G-Unit (have you seen Buck and Bank’s soundscan?).

You can criticize the content and point out his technical flaws but 50 makes hits and right now we need some motherfucking hits. Fans may have to wait a couple more months for 50′s next album, but you can read my “In Da Club” lyric translation right now…..

When I pull up out front, you see the Benz on dubs
When I roll 20 deep, it’s 20 knives in the club
Niggaz heard I fuck with Dre, now they wanna show me love
When you sell like Eminem, and the hoes, they wanna fuck

When I arrive at the club in my Mercedes Benz, you will immediately notice my 20 inch rims
I will be joined by 19 of my closest cronies, who, along with myself, will be carrying knives
You may have discovered that I am doing business with Dr. Dre, but I will not be fooled by false friendship
Also many promiscuous women have found out that I will be rich like Eminem and are more than willing to have sexual intercourse now

But homie ain’t nuttin changed hoes down, G’s up
I see Xzibit in the cut hey nigga roll that weed up
If you watch how I move you’ll mistake me for a player or pimp
Been hit wit a few shells but I don’t walk wit a limp (I’m aight)

However my friend, fame and fortune have not changed me and I will maintain my loyalty to my friends over these harlots
Oh look, it is my rapper buddy Xzhibit, who is going to make a marijuana cigarette
If you concentrate on the way I do business you may think I am a pimp
Unfortunately I have been shot a few times, but the near death experience does not affect the way I walk

In the hood, in L.A. they sayin “50 you hot”
They like me, I want them to love me like they love ‘Pac

But holla in New York them niggaz’ll tell ya I’m loco
And the plan is to put the rap game in a choke hold

People in the Los Angeles inner city are telling me I am very exceptional right now
Still I am not satisfied, because I want them to have the same affection for me like they do the late great Tupac
In my hometown of New York, many people will tell you that I am mentally unstable
Currently I am trying to dominate the rap music business

I’m fully focused man, my money on my mind
Got a mill’ out the deal and I’m still on the grind
Now shawty said she feelin my style, she feelin my flow
Her girlfriend willin to get bi and they ready to go (o kay!

Seriously, this has my full attention, and currently my main concern is money
I received a million dollars from my business transaction with Eminem and Dr. Dre, but I am still working hard (possibly even still selling drugs)
This nice looking women said she likes my demeanor as well as the way I deliver my rap lyrics
Luckily her friend is also willing to sleep with me and they are prepared to leave

And you should love it, way more then you hate it
Nigga you mad? I thought that you’d be happy I made it
I’m that cat by the bar toastin to the good life
You that faggot ass nigga tryin to pull me back right?

You should be praising me rather than discrediting me
Why are you upset? I thought you would happy for me and my new found success
I am the fellow sitting next to the bar toasting to the “good life”
You are the jealous person trying to bring me back to my poor and dangerous past

When my joint get to pumpin in the club it’s on
I wink my eye at ya bitch, if she smiles she gone
If the roof on fire, let the motherfucker burn
If you talkin about money homie, I ain’t concerned

If the disc jockey is playing my song in the club, I have an unfair advantage over other men
At that juncture I simply wink my eye at your female companion and if she reciprocates my flirting with a smile she will be departing the club with me
I’m so carefree that if this building was on fire, I would not even mind
If you are worried about money my friend, this does not affect me

I’ma tell you what Banks told me cause go ‘head switch the style up
If the niggaz hate then let ‘em hate then watch the money pile up
Or we go upside your head wit a bottle of bub’
They know where we fuckin be

This is what my pal Lloyd Banks said, “Do not be afraid to change the type of rapper you are.
Someone is always going to be envious, but you will be more than satisfied with your new accumulation of wealth.
Or we could simply hit them across the cranium with a champagne bottle.”
Everyone knows my friends and I frequent the clubs

You’re a joke. Everything in your interview and about you (at least what I know) is a contradiction.

ghet·to /ˈgÉ›toÊŠ / Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[get-oh]

3. a section predominantly inhabited by Jews.

Hey your majesty, so by your implication of ghetto “revival” you’d like to bring back ethnic minorities forced to live in the same poor run down slums? Maybe what you were trying to say was slum revitalization?

We all know you’re “basking in the hate”, right now just like your little hero John Brown who was considered a terrorist, and a mad man, and a brutal murderer. He even hacked two men to death.

However maybe he’s the perfect alias for you, your majesty.

After he lost everything he basically decided out of no where that he wanted to abolish slavery, but really he just wanted to take over the country and even wrote his own constitution. He would have declared himself “King”, so the moniker John Brown, King of the Burbs, fits perfectly.

Now don’t get it twisted, I’m from Philly, and actually Philly not Allentown like “G-child”, and I also watched every episode of The White Rapper Show. My husband is even a huge fan of yours and I even considered buying a Ghetto Revival shirt for him….just playing, he thinks you’re a joke too. However you are probably are the best joke ever because of how delusional you are. It’s almost as if you just link words together that you think sound good. Persia should have won.

Cocaine and crack have always had a place in rap. What better preachers to push drug dealing ideologies than those that lived it. However every song I hear lately has a blatant reference to it. From White Girl to Pushin’, to White Lines and Dope Man, cocaine is a strongarm of the rap game, leaving runny noses in the dust. Often times it feels like there is a “pledge allegiance” to cocaine. Honestly, I get tired of hearing about dope. It gets dull and old, only a few rappers seem to actually pull it off in a luxurious manner (Jay Z, BIG, Clipse, NWA, Dipset, Ice Cube, Rick Ross, T.I.).

The rest seem to be on the bandwagon of slinging rhymes by the kilos. I will admit, I do have the occasional urge to blast some lyrically-crisp rap spoken through Vaseline-lubed bricks, however, the concept becomes over-done.

It’s ironic that many rappers who rhyme about it have never moved an ounce in their life. But the action of dealing really doesn’t matter, it’s the swift mentality, fluent delivery, and rugged rhymes that speak volume to the ear. Why sell coke if you can rhyme about it and get paid?

If you want to learn how to sell coke with swift finesse, just listen to Clipse’s “I’m not you” an authentic portrayal of dealing blow.

Clipse brings a horribly riveting elegance to the coke trade, much like the film Scarface did. What I appreciate about Malice and Pusha (Clipse) is their genuinely candid lyrics that capture the pain of dealing drugs. “It shames me to no end / to feed poison to those that could very well be my kin / But where there’s demand, someone will supply / So I feed them their needs at the same time cry.” It’s a rarity in hip hop that rappers can not only effortlessly peel off lyrics about drug dealing, but layer them in such rawness.

Despite the inevitable outcome of drug dealing (prison, death), many rappers have had their fair share resulting in successful rap careers. Crack and coke have a ferocious appetite within the hip hop marketplace. If you sling crack crumbs on the corner or move “snowflakes by the O Z” (Jay-Z) through the hood, can passionately spit rhymes, then you may have an opportunity to win over anxiously waiting fans. Like Nas said, “Somehow the rap game reminds me of the crack game.” Rap reels in fans like dope fiends hit after hit.

Rap and pushing drugs often require the same necessities. Stamina, street smarts, ability to hustle, bravado, ego, strategic placement of products, expansion, commitment and a hostile persona of not resting on glory. Moving weight is big money.

Drugs make loot whether they’re being rapped about or smuggled across cities. I don’t hear rap songs about dealing weed too often. And heroin is too taboo to rap about, aside from a line by Clipse, “One give you the sniffles, the other, leave you with the itches.” Junkies don’t exactly portray an attractive lifestyle, but coke is a lucrative drug glorified by numerous celebrities and musicians. Now crack, well that just shatters souls hit after hit, but is definitely a vital component to many rap tracks.

“Ten Crack Commandments” has to be the number one rap song strictly dedicated to enforcing the rules of the crack game. “I done squeezed mad clips at these cats for they bricks and chips” , “Number five, never sell no crack where you rest at, I don’t care if they want a ounce, tell em bounce.” This song is preached by a man who practiced it. Biggie made slinging crack sound respectfully artistic in a street fashioned approach.

In the end, I appreciate artists that have consistently delivered albums despite what they rap about. I just get bored with every upcoming entrepreneur-rapper that boasts his claim to selling drugs and how they’re kings. It’s a joke to me. A king would be considered the legendary Pablo Escobar from Columbia who happened to create the coke trade within America over 30 years ago. If he were still alive and happened to rap, he’d be on the charts and the most sought after artist. Rappers fall off the market all the time and go unheard of. Like I said before, the rap game and drug game involve the same marketing tools to become triumphant.

I’m not saying 50 would be a better executive, but what would 50 do (WW50D) if one of Cam’ron’s or The Game’s songs were used to promote his video game? The commercial I saw for the latest Def Jam video game uses Jimmy Jones “Ballin” as its theme music. I pretty sure Jay-Z did not sign off on it (LA Reid probably didn’t either), but I am pretty sure if Jimmy Iovine used “Oh Boy” for the next “Bulletproof” game he would be Steve Stouted in a minute.

And what about R. Kelly being in Jeezy’s (the second most marketable rapper after Jay on the roster) second single and video with that lawsuit out there. WW50D in that situation? You tell me and post your comments.

Whoa. Ok, I’ll slow down because I realize your first reaction must be “what were you doing watching a Fergie video anyway”? Well if you must know… my girlfriend had the remote and wanted to watch it. No excuses like the batteries in my remote died and I was too lazy to get up; it was her turn to pick so I had to do my time (life is about compromise fellas and sometimes we have to share the remote). Anyway, I thought I saw Alfonso Ribeiro aka Carlton Banks from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Of course she disagreed with me so I started asking my friends and googling it but got no further. The answers were split 50-50 and no one, I mean no one was unsure about their answer. Either they remembered the same Carlton shuffle I remembered, or they were 100% certain that it was not him and started explaining the differences in eye brows and jaw lines. Pretty weak arguments (can’t eyebrows change in ten years?) but I excepted them…..until now that is.

I am now proclaiming that Carlton Banks (screw his government) is in Fergie’s “Glamorous Life” video.

If you don’t believe me check this out…