OLD DIRTY BASTARD VS KANYE WEST.
By: Sepher Cadiz
Do you not see the genius? Do you not see the hidden agenda? Do you not see the hilarity behind it all?
I do. I do. And I certainly do! Funny? Yes, hilarious for on reason and one reason only–Even Publicity stunts are sampled by Rappers! But let’s probe, disect, and conclude–who did it better?
ODB RAGES GRAMMYS
OR
Kanye West Rages Taylor Swift
Don’t look away or you’ll miss it. A song that liquidizes, bends, and molds your essence as you read this sentence and your present. A gift with a Dot Alison ribbon built up so a featured Pete Doherty can tear it down. Clowns enter this writers’ unconscious thought darted yet fixed on this track, “I Wanna Break Your Heart” cooks you up the spine straight to the mind with xylophones and acoustic strum dimes, the benchmark voice that sings picture words without a picture book and that’s the hook, ‘I Wanna Break Your Heart’
check it out:
Blind Spontaneous cursory movement is what highlighted the musical path to ‘The Very Bests’ new track, “Warm Heart of Africa” right into my highly attune scaler ear electrifying my inner-monologue forcing my mouths motor to zoom say, “good shit!” No, this isn’t one of those articles who fish hook your cheek to direct your precious attention to rotten weed condom sounding sounds. Just imagine the Euro sound mechanics working with the natural forces of Africas’ musical shamans. Nuff said, here it is!
EVOLUTION? WHERE ARE THE TESTES? WOMAN RULING MUSIC?
By: Sepher Cadiz
Oh can you just imagine the future? Recycled Menstrual pads for earphones, tampon inspired shaped microphones , birth control pills running street gangs, and yes–mandatory pap tests for the entire population! That includes your penis, a bent penis, and I don’t know if that’s even a penis-penis, and my penis. OUCH! My penis indeed! But as funny as fiction can be (And I don’t know one male who would think a pap test would be funny besides myself), it’s clear as the hot thong most music queens wear ,if anything at all! So fellas, grab your crouch one more time, the king of pop has been dead for years because the top money making musicians out there have been women. Where are the testes?!?!?!?!?!??!
Well they should just be right above that microphone-ish looking organ you have. The only problem is it’s not getting a hard and the only that comes out is piss! And don’t tell me it isn’t true. Isn’t it safe to say the last music movement was dismal, repetitious, unoriginal, or whatever other synonym you have for boring-a$$-s#I+!. Pop Hip Hop is played out, Emo rock is looking as old as Pop Hip Hop, Electro just doesn’t move me on a sober mind (physically), and the majority of new artists sound just like the other synonym you had for boring-a$$-s#I+! Annnnd come hithers’ Vagina power!
The very Estrogen power that humps, thumps, pulls back a nutsack, grabs a fist full of hair, yells, and SPOOF! Magically our penis shaped microphone turns-on, stiffens, and looks to mosh-pit- hump a rectum. Why? The answer is simple. Evolution. My friends, music is morphing, changing, and evolving in the hands of a creative original woman. And this is coming from a twenty some odd year old man who felt female musicians made him feel like a Vagina. But that was then, this is now, and last time I checked–the coolest things to come out in music since those darn penis shaped microphones are the, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Lykke Li, Metric, MIA, the Dead Weather etc. Not to mention Forbes’ top earning young musicians list of 2008 are all woman. 1) Beyonce
2) Britney Spears 3) Miley Cyrus 4) Taylor Swift 5) Jessica Simpson
And maybe I’m wrong, maybe women aren’t the only answer to this complicated yet simple problem. Perhaps it’s just the package these women bring to the table that have them on top. Perhaps it’s the combination of Masculinity, femininity, and individuality. And maybe more male artists can harness these traits and change music even more for the better! Either way, I don’t see any testes evolving into anything like the new influx of female musicians I mentioned. It’s a new era in music, Where are the testes?