Since I last updated this column three months ago, Iâ€™ve received hundreds of emails from fans* asking where Iâ€™ve been and if Iâ€™m all right. Fortunately, Iâ€™m ok and preparing for a crazy summer before I make the plunge into law school and start representing rappers who get jerked for their publishing (if you can name the song, Iâ€™ll let your rant in the next column; email me firstname.lastname@example.org). Tell Diddy and them to guard their grills, homey.
Enough about the personal stuff though, because this column is about 50. When I heard the news that he was pushing the album back until September I was pretty pissed. This has already been a pretty weak year for albums, so despite Killaâ€™s thoughts, â€œCurtisâ€ could have carried us through the summer until Kanye dropped. I wasnâ€™t even that impressed with Mr. Jacksonâ€™s latest songs, but I knew he would have put out a dope ass album to energize the summer and G-Unit (have you seen Buck and Bankâ€™s soundscan?).
You can criticize the content and point out his technical flaws but 50 makes hits and right now we need some motherfucking hits. Fans may have to wait a couple more months for 50’s next album, but you can read my â€œIn Da Clubâ€ lyric translation right now…..
When I pull up out front, you see the Benz on dubs
When I roll 20 deep, it’s 20 knives in the club
Niggaz heard I fuck with Dre, now they wanna show me love
When you sell like Eminem, and the hoes, they wanna fuck
When I arrive at the club in my Mercedes Benz, you will immediately notice my 20 inch rims
I will be joined by 19 of my closest cronies, who, along with myself, will be carrying knives
You may have discovered that I am doing business with Dr. Dre, but I will not be fooled by false friendship
Also many promiscuous women have found out that I will be rich like Eminem and are more than willing to have sexual intercourse now
But homie ain’t nuttin changed hoes down, G’s up
I see Xzibit in the cut hey nigga roll that weed up
If you watch how I move you’ll mistake me for a player or pimp
Been hit wit a few shells but I don’t walk wit a limp (I’m aight)
However my friend, fame and fortune have not changed me and I will maintain my loyalty to my friends over these harlots
Oh look, it is my rapper buddy Xzhibit, who is going to make a marijuana cigarette
If you concentrate on the way I do business you may think I am a pimp
Unfortunately I have been shot a few times, but the near death experience does not affect the way I walk
In the hood, in L.A. they sayin “50 you hot”
They like me, I want them to love me like they love ‘Pac
But holla in New York them niggaz’ll tell ya I’m loco
And the plan is to put the rap game in a choke hold
People in the Los Angeles inner city are telling me I am very exceptional right now
Still I am not satisfied, because I want them to have the same affection for me like they do the late great Tupac
In my hometown of New York, many people will tell you that I am mentally unstable
Currently I am trying to dominate the rap music business
I’m fully focused man, my money on my mind
Got a mill’ out the deal and I’m still on the grind
Now shawty said she feelin my style, she feelin my flow
Her girlfriend willin to get bi and they ready to go (o kay!
Seriously, this has my full attention, and currently my main concern is money
I received a million dollars from my business transaction with Eminem and Dr. Dre, but I am still working hard (possibly even still selling drugs)
This nice looking women said she likes my demeanor as well as the way I deliver my rap lyrics
Luckily her friend is also willing to sleep with me and they are prepared to leave
And you should love it, way more then you hate it
Nigga you mad? I thought that you’d be happy I made it
I’m that cat by the bar toastin to the good life
You that faggot ass nigga tryin to pull me back right?
You should be praising me rather than discrediting me
Why are you upset? I thought you would happy for me and my new found success
I am the fellow sitting next to the bar toasting to the “good life”
You are the jealous person trying to bring me back to my poor and dangerous past
When my joint get to pumpin in the club it’s on
I wink my eye at ya bitch, if she smiles she gone
If the roof on fire, let the motherfucker burn
If you talkin about money homie, I ain’t concerned
If the disc jockey is playing my song in the club, I have an unfair advantage over other men
At that juncture I simply wink my eye at your female companion and if she reciprocates my flirting with a smile she will be departing the club with me
Iâ€™m so carefree that if this building was on fire, I would not even mind
If you are worried about money my friend, this does not affect me
I’ma tell you what Banks told me cause go ‘head switch the style up
If the niggaz hate then let ’em hate then watch the money pile up
Or we go upside your head wit a bottle of bub’
They know where we fuckin be
This is what my pal Lloyd Banks said, “Do not be afraid to change the type of rapper you are.
Someone is always going to be envious, but you will be more than satisfied with your new accumulation of wealth.
Or we could simply hit them across the cranium with a champagne bottle.”
Everyone knows my friends and I frequent the clubs
*When I say â€œhundreds of emails from fansâ€, I really mean three or four from Hugo asking me to update my shit but I had to sound popular in the intro, unkowutimsayin?!?!